215: Being Curious to Explore Our Identity and Relevance
Part 2 of the Curiosity series where I chat with a few folks about an aspect of their life that makes them tilt their heads in curiosity and want to figure out how to satisfy it.
“I would encourage people when they're dissatisfied to approach that dissatisfaction with curiosity, like why am I dissatisfied? What part of my life am I dissatisfied with? And what can I change? The majority of the people I've worked with that are dissatisfied, it's because of something about their relationships.”
My guest in this episode is Sarah Elkins. Sarah is a storyteller, the podcast host and author of “Your Stories Don’t Define You. How You Tell Them Will.” and Gallup certified StrengthsFinder coach. She is also a much-in-demand keynote speaker and consultant/coach on communication and storytelling.
In this episode, Sarah looks at the role curiosity plays in pulling back the curtain on one’s identity and how we define relevance in our lives.
So, let’s talk about engaging our curiosity.
In her book, I Never Thought of It That Way, author Monica Guzman suggests that curiosity may be the pathway that leads us out of our extreme political divide. Instead of trying to change people with whom we disagree on any number of issues with a lot of facts and diatribes, Guzman suggests that we first ask ourselves the question, “What might I be missing about this topic or person?” And then we could explore with them, “How did you come to believe what you currently believe?” In short, she says, listen to understand instead of arguing. Listening to understand defuses anger and helps identify common ground. Common ground can lead to shared solutions.
I’ve been thinking a lot about her idea and the power of curiosity beyond its potential political application. Being curious naturally forces us to slow down, to take ourselves off the autopilot mode that is daily life for most of us. Being curious encourages us to engage more meaningfully with others at work, home, and school.
Being curious offers several benefits. It helps us become better problem solvers, more self-aware, less fearful, and maybe most important, demonstrate greater empathy. How’s that for a leadership skill set?
Context – looking at the past to inform and understand the present – is my top StrengthFinder skill. It’s no surprise, then, that I studied and later taught history at the high school level. But we’re all different, and not everyone shares the curiosity gene. Others might be more apt to take information at face value rather than examine its source or veracity. Is it any surprise, then, that disinformation is rampant today and feeds our political division?
But I don’t want to talk about disinformation or our great divide in this series – at least not yet. Instead, I’ve asked several people to come on the show to talk very briefly about an aspect of their life that makes them tilt their heads in curiosity and want to figure out how to satisfy it.
I aim to have you, my listeners, experience a spark of curiosity and maybe disengage that autopilot.
“Our identity really is driven by in our younger years, by the stories people tell about us, the stories that we hold on to about how people responded to us.”
Connect with Sarah
Podcast - Spotify
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/thesmileisfree/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/elkinscommunication
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahlynnelkins/
Website - https://elkinsconsulting.com
Show Credits
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More about Sarah
Sarah is your guide to uncovering stories for every audience so executives, leaders, and public speakers can effectively demonstrate their character, values, and vision. She’s an engaging speaker, known to entertain and inspire, bringing the practical applications of storytelling to life.
Sarah’s workshops and coaching packages with in-person and remote teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team’s results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides conversations to ensure work relationships are based on knowing & valuing each other’s strengths and connecting with each other on the most basic level through enhanced self-reflection, story sharing, and effective listening.