Getting Unstuck: Connecting Through Effective Communication – an Interview with Lila Smith
“There are a lot of things that we take for granted about how we communicate, and what we see as “normal” and as “good.” And if anybody differs from that, they must be wrong, right? And that’s why things aren’t getting done. That’s why we’re not collaborative. That’s why we’re not innovative. That’s why there’s such high turnover because it’s anyone but me.”
Today on Getting Unstuck
Maybe you were intending to update your company or team. Maybe you were trying to provide a colleague with a suggestion, or a direct report with some feedback. Maybe you were just trying to make a point in a meeting. Whatever the setting, that critical voice in your ear is whispering “Well, that communication didn’t go very well, did it?”
Say “Hello!” to Lila Smith, a messaging consultant and “Communications Breakthrough Coach.” Lila has successfully leveraged her theatrical training to become one of the world’s most recognized and sought-after communications experts. Here, we’ll learn why our messaging sometimes (often?) doesn’t land as we intended and how we can help that inner voice to sing a different tune.
Lila running a “Verb Your Values” exercise
10 Take-aways from the interview
Request feedback from people to make sure that the message you intended to send is indeed the one that’s coming across.
An organization’s values needs to be clearly evident in its communications about its policies and procedures.
To collaborate effectively with someone else requires you to clearly communicate your values, but at the same time, take their functional and emotional needs into consideration.
There needs to be consistency and coherence between what you communicate to the world and how you run your internal operations.
Messaging can't overcome quality.
Your communication culture should always be speaking toward the actions that move your organization forward.
If you notice that there's a problem with communication, you can definitely be the one that starts to shift how people communicate by modeling it yourself and by inviting other people to do the same.
To achieve better communication results – to be authentic in your communication – you have to lock into the motivations you have that underlie the communication.
The 5 steps of Lila’s “Say Things Better” method:
a. What is your motivation in communication? What do you want to achieve through your communications?
b. What is my objective in this communication, and does it support my motivation?
c. What is my communication partner’s goal in this communication event? What makes our interaction a success for them?
d. What communication tools do I have at my disposal to increase the likelihood of connecting effectively?
e. Which verbs best represent my values?To connect and achieve objectives that you and a communication partner will feel good about, communicate in a way that is sensitive to their needs.
“If you have expectations set up for how you treat each other at every point in the journey, not just because of company policy, but because of how individuals on the team operate and what they need, then you have a smoother path, then you have trust, then you have openness, and because of that, a lot more innovation.”
For reflection
Review the 5 steps of Lila’s “Say Things Better” method. If your messages are falling short of where you want them to be, which of the steps might be tripping you up?
Communications that work as intended require the sender – that would be you – to slow down and be very intentional about what you’re trying to say and why you’re trying to say it. Step back for a moment and reflect on how many of your communications are simply on auto-pilot. How might you take the time to make them more intentional?
For more information
Lila Smith on LinkedIn