Try looking in the mirror.

“Happiness is not a destination. It’s not something that you’re ever going to find outside of yourself, which is where we all look.”

— Kim Strobel

Today’s guest

As a former teacher turned speaker and happiness coach, Kim Strobel helps schools, businesses, and organizations prioritize their happiness and well-being so they can overcome their fears, discover their joy, activate their limitless potential, and boldly pursue their dreams.

Kim on why this conversation matters

“It's high time that we all start extending some grace to ourselves. We so easily hand out grace to everyone else. We are kind and compassionate when those around us need help or are struggling or make a mistake or need to be picked back up. But we don't extend that grace back to ourselves very often. And so I have a little sticky note that sits next to my computer that says “Girlfriend, give yourself some grace.” We just need to take a breath.

I always say if I drew a circle, and there were 99 yellow dots accumulated inside that circle over a day’s time, but there was one black dot – you know, one area where you just really screwed up – what would we all do? We’d focus on the black dot! So I just think that teachers need to take a breath and really take a look at what they have been doing that is right and well.”

How you can use this episode as personal PD

Two of the important points Kim makes in our conversation are around (1) her definition of happiness and (2) the need for leaders to share their vulnerability. Kim describes happiness in terms of fulfillment and meaningfulness. But neither of these qualities are end points, rather they are states of being and personal growth.

Where are you feeling fulfilled in your life? Where do you have meaning in terms of what you’re doing, who you’re doing it for, the relationships you’ve built along the way that nurture you and that you in turn nurture?
Where do you show vulnerability? Where do you withhold it?

Closing thought

“I think like as leaders, it's time to start talking about the hard stuff. We can keep putting band aids on all of this stuff forever and ever. But if you don't peel the band aid off, if you don't deal with the dark side of things, if you don't ever go there, you know, you're never going to be able to really step into the light. It's the polarity of it, right? I have to go into the darkness if I want to come out into the light, and so we have to be willing to stop living these fake lives where we pretend like we have it all together and create a real social construct system within the organization that says, look, you get to be a real human being too.”