Getting Unstuck: Taming Your Advice Monster – a Conversation with Michael Bungay Steiner
“Coaching isn’t a label. It isn’t something that you are or not, it’s a behavior. And the definition I have for coaching is can you stay curious a little bit longer? Can you rush to action and advice giving a little bit more slowly?”
Today on Getting Unstuck
People my age rarely admit to having a professional hero, but I do, and it’s today’s guest, Michael Bungay Stanier. As a coach, I was first attracted to Michael’s work through his book The Coaching Habit – a landmark how-to-coach manual for non-coaches. It succinctly debunked three obstacles to coaching that leaders typically throw in their own way:
• “I’m supposed to have the answers.” (The real reward comes with helping others to develop the answers.)
• “I don’t have time to coach.” (You can accomplish plenty in 10 minutes or less.)
• “I don’t know how to coach.” (We’re not trying to make you into a coach; we’re just trying to help you become more “coach-like.”)
Supporting that book were his two thoroughly engaging podcasts, “The Coaching Habit “and “The Great Work Podcast.”
Available February 29.
In addition to having one ultra mega-bestseller under his belt with The Coaching Habit, Michael was named one of the top 25 coaches in the country by coaching guru, Marshall Goldsmith. He also serves as principal of “Box of Crayons,” a learning and development company that helps organizations transform from advice-driven to curiosity-led.
So we heartily welcome MBS to our show today to talk about coaching and his new book, The Advice Trap – a read that I found insanely practical. More than once I wondered of leaders and managers “Why wouldn’t you do this?”
Let’s listen in.
Listen for
• What is “The Advice Trap”?
• How you can build a relationship with someone at work who first appears to be insanely incurious.
• How three coaching principles – be lazy, be curious, be often – set the context for a productive coaching relationship.
• How you can remain curious a little bit longer and refrain from jumping in and giving advice.
• The rewards for the leader who coaches.
• The “foggy-fiers” – the different patterns of behavior that are getting in the way of you accelerating and conversation toward focus.
“If you are interested and committed to working in a different way, if you’d like to make the shift from being somebody who tends to leap in with advice to being curious longer, you have to understand what you get out of your current behavior. In giving advice, it’s so easy to go: ‘I’m not doing this for me, I’m doing this for you.” But actually being the person who has the answer every time serves you, it serves your ego, your sense of control, your sense of martyrdom: ‘I’m the only person who can save this person in this organization.’”
For more information
MBS on LinkedIn
My Best Question video series on LinkedIn
MBS personal website
MBS on Instagram